School choice, Oh the agony

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I have no desire to have a homeschool vs. public vs. private school choice debate. Especially since I haven’t had the energy to blog since it was a rough year caring for my husband and more time has gone toward work to handle the extra medical expenses.

When You Want to Quit

But my heart is searching for which option is best for my son this coming school year. Can you relate? Are you trying to make decisions on school choices?

I really wish the pendulum would stop swinging between all the options. My depleted emotions can’t take much more.

I see friends who are quitting homeschooling..and I want to ask them why…but I don’t want them to feel like they have to defend their school choice.

Right now the grass looks so greener…I am struggling with burnout, while guilt and wearness clouds my mind. I don’t trust my mind to rationally analyze if quitting homeschooling is the right choice.

Having them in a school setting engaged from 8 am to 3 pm each day…seems like a dream of amazing hours of uninterrupted time.

But I have to remind myself that I will have to drive them there, we won’t have the freedom in our schedule, and they won’t have a choice in their school topics.

All the while I have friends looking to begin their homeschool journey frustrated by other school systems. They want me to share my 16 years of homeschooling wisdom. They think my grass looks greener.

Right now it doesn’t matter which side of the fence you find yourself…what matters is finding a way to have peace about your school choice.

If you are walking in circles trying to make the school choice…I wish I could give you an easy button…but since mine is broken…here are a few steps I am trying for myself.

My School Choice Steps:

  1. Rest. However it needs to happen…find the time. Don’t make the choice under exhaustion in the hopes of finding it. Recently I read a definition of rest that has altered my thinking.
    1. Rest: to stop using (something) so that it can be strong again. (Hello…can my mind get some strength back)
  2. Talk with another person. Don’t just seek out those who are doing your desired school choice. Maybe sitting down and listening to why a friend is still doing her school choice might remind you of a few things.
  3. Don’t second guess yourself. Honestly…once the choice is made…enjoy the journey. Remember: No rule says you can’t change your mind again in 6 months.

So who wants to meet for coffee and discuss my school choice? I finally slept two nights in a row.

Yes I did a search on quitting homeschooling…which reminded me…that often moms question their choices. I am not alone in that.

Dear Homeschool Mom Who Wants to Quit.

So You Really Want to Quit Homeschooling

Homeschooling Inspiration for When You Feel Like Quitting 



This post may contain AFFILIATE LINKS. Clicking through these links help to support the costs involved in running this blog and sometimes can help with other expenses. You can find my full disclosure under the DISCLOSURE TAB. Thanks!


  1. Jennette Driscoll says:

    We looked at high school vs continuing home school, and included our son in our decision process. He felt adamant that he wanted to continue to homeschool, but as his parents, the final decision was ours. After much thought, we took the plunge, and his freshman year as a homeschooler is finally complete. And while I outwardly support homeschooling, the choice was not necessarily simple. I don’t feel I am defending our choice, merely discussing it– I have nothing to be defensive about.

    For our son, first of all there is the asynchronicity. He was ready for pre-calc, but his writing was more on grade-level, and he has really loved politics and history and economics. Looking around, I didn’t see a school that would do a great job of supporting that blend (even if they let him start in at pre-calc as a freshman, which was not a given, and how many schools really truly deeply support a political science department). Our local schools are not a great fit for him, and the available charters would require a pretty substantial commute (a friend of ours actually sold their house and moved to be closer to the charter their daughter is attending). We do enjoy traveling, and I have never been a fan of parents lying to pull their kids out of school– I think if you are in school, you stick to the school calendar. Homeschooling allows us to travel, bring the kids, and get school done, thanks to flexible scheduling. And this summer my kiddo took his first university course– not a watered down dual enrollment designed course, but a real freshman course designed for kids in the major, in political science– and he aced it, and had an absolute blast. Doing this would be more difficult in the public schools. We were also able to tailor his secular science courses to cover important basic information but allow time to explore his interests, too– biology focused on a lot of molecular bio, genetics, and ecology this year. We also farmed out writing to an excellent online academy where he received a lot of tough love and spot-on feedback, and his rhetoric skills grew tremendously. His reading list included Herodotus, Aristotle, Josephus, Darwin, St. Augustine, Sun Tzu, Dante, and more. It was far more aggressive than any high school list I have seen. He also had the chance to be self-directed and self-paced in a few courses. We can focus on actual rhetoric in the classical style, rather than just pumping out more opinion essays and term papers, and we have time to keep teaching formal logic and computer science in addition to (not instead of, as our legislators recently decided) math and science.

    If he was in public school, though, would he benefit from meeting the demands of multiple additional teachers who are not me? How would his already excellent social life change– would it widen? Would he find more opportunities to try things that I don’t have the time and energy to provide? Would the college application process be smoother, easier, more informed? What about the schedule, having to get up so early every day, in opposition to his teen brain’s demands? Would foreign language or exchange programs be easier in school?

    Ultimately, I think our family is on the correct path by staying with homeschooling. It is exhausting. We have no guarantees of success, but there are also none in the public schools– that just gives us someone else to blame if things go badly. We are providing both the broad knowledge needed by an educated individual, and keeping alive the interest-led learning that keeps curiosity going. For us, homeschooling is keeping open the options for unique experiences that could be possible, but more difficult in the traditional school setting. We are able to assure him adequate challenge in areas where he excels, with more options than pressure-cooker AP classes that don’t necessarily equate to long-term learning. Exploring college admissions pages, I don’t believe we will have any difficulty with him accessing higher education upon graduation (and college is his goal).

    Now, see me again in a couple of years, as we look into all of these questions once again for kid #2 . . .

    Best of luck to your family in making this decision. It is truly an individual decision. I do feel confident that home schooling is a highly viable option for high school, but it is a choice each family must make after weighing the pros and cons. I also have friends whose kids are loving the return or entry to a formal school environment, and thriving, after being raised as homeschoolers. Both ways can work out well in the end. I truly believe that with a supportive and committed family environment, it’s hard to make a bad choice– either one will probably work out well in the end (my son is thriving homeschooling high school, but he’d also turn out just fine if we sent him off to public/charter school).

    • Stacey Lane says:

      Thank you so much for sharing! I will think this over.

  2. Hi Stacey. Thanks for sharing my post today! Marianne 🙂

  3. Heidi Shaw says:

    I have gone through this every year for the past 3 years. The struggle is real, and I feel your pain. And I pray for your rest. We have had a really rough couple of years as well and just trying to stay on our feet is taking all of my husband’s, and my, energy. Our last one at home is 16, almost 17- so almost done. She is a loner and an introvert in every sense. She has great friendships with her (much) older siblings but very few friends her age. My struggle is trying to decide if thats OK- to just leave her be. She wants to stay home and is a huge help on the home front but my guilt button is on perma stuck.. So, yeah, no solutions, but lots of empathy – and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

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