Got a Lot of Things Going On

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We are battling a great many things currently at my house. While I know at some point I will share the struggles with teens and suicide and depression and now recent diagnosis of autism. Today the focus is to keep my end of the agreement with my son. Here is another song he has written. In case you didn’t catch his others ones: All I Want for Christmas Is a Friend and Self Esteem

Got a Lot of Things Going On

Uh got a lot of things going on.
That’s why I’m writing this song.
Trying to process a lot.
Cause I have a lot of thoughts.
Just learned I may have autism.
Trying to figure out what that all means.
Wish I could’ve known before I was a teen.
Wondering what other people will think.
Will they think I’m crazy or not care at all.
Will they avoid me as I walk down the hall.
I hope not. I know I shouldn’t worry about this but it’s hard trying not to.
Trying to view it as a blessing instead of a curse.
Cause that will make everything worse.
Sometimes I even wonder who I am.
Like what makes me me.
I wish I could see past the negative parts.
But that’s where I always start.
I know what I’m bad at, But what am I good at?
One things for sure I’ve learned how many people care for me.
I thought they all couldn’t see me.
I felt all alone like nobody cared.
Then people all wrote letters showing they cared.
They really helped and I’m thankful for all of them.
Trying to remember what I did to make me happy.
Not used to feeling a lot.
Like how happy should I be?
I don’t know.
But at the end of the day I’m still determined
Gonna keep fighting till I win.
No matter what I’ve got to make it through.
Gonna do what I need to do.

By A. Lane

 

This post may contain AFFILIATE LINKS. Clicking through these links help to support the costs involved in running this blog and sometimes can help with other expenses. You can find my full disclosure under the DISCLOSURE TAB. Thanks!

Comments

  1. Kyle,
    Praying with thanks this morning for you and your precious family! We don’t know each other well but I thought it might prove helpful to share this one thing. Several months ago I saw you coming out of church. Your mom had just written that you had passed your drivers exam so I congratulated you. Thinking that words from an old lady like me wouldn’t mean much to a young man like you, I didn’t expect much o a response. What you gave me that day was a gift I will never forget–YOUR SMILE! I don’t know if you know it, Kyle, but you have a God-given beautiful smile that can touch hearts like nothing else can! No matter how this diagnosis-thing ends up, I urge you to use it to break down barriers and love others as God has equipped you to do.

    Also, don’t let this diagnosis define you. You are bright and uniquely gifted–perfect in God’s sight to accomplish what He has had in mind since the beginning of time. TRUST HIM! Give thanks to Him for every gift-of-a-day He gives you, and lean on Him to help you with every adventurous step you take. In the process, I am confident that He will bless you with His glorious Presence and Peace.

    Thank you Kyle for the blessing of your smile. It was a gift that I will greatly cherish for as long as God gives me breath. ❤️

    • Alex, I just realized I put your brother’s name instead of yours. (This getting old business is very humbling and frustrating!) I promise that as I wrote this letter I had Your face in mind the whole time! Please forgive me and know accept my offering as the blessing it was intended to be. (I’ve don the same thing to Derek a time or two!!!) ❤️

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