It’s a special week at my house, my husband and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary on the 20th of May.
I have never written about marriage because frankly the “D word” has popped up a few times over the years in my marriage.
My struggles have me feeling so inadequate about sharing any great advice on marriage.
But I have one thought about being married for 20 years…there is an amazing journey in “two becomes one.”
I remember in our first year of marriage we were so focused on the physical aspect of two becomes one…ah young love.
But all that “oneness” brought along children and soon “two becomes one” was a necessity for survival. We quickly became outnumbered! We had to be a united front in parenting.
Now there is an almost 20 year age difference in our relationship which has brought about a new aspect in “two becomes one.”
A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with COPD. I almost think a chronic diagnosis should trigger marriage counseling because there is a mourning when losing your health.
Now we have two people affected by one diagnosis. Two people facing different struggles from one disease. Two people scared about becoming just one.
Recently mild dementia has sprung up in our marriage. The brain likes a steady level of oxygen and does not work well on a reduced amount.
It reminds me of a funny skit I saw about two becomes one is for growing old: when one of you will remember where the car keys are…one of you will be able to open the pickle jar…and one of you will be able to hear the phone ring.
Over the past year I have had to turn to another page and focus on the cord of three strands. My husband struggles with feeling he is not worthy of love if he can not contribute to the family. I struggle with thinking I am alone and overwhelmed with taking care of everything.
Honestly these thoughts sneak in when we take our eyes off the one who created us…our identity in Christ…so important.
It has been good to look back…looking forward scares me…most days I do not have the strength…I only have the strength for today…for that I am thankful.
Twenty years ago on the Twenty of May with a Twenty year age difference…Two became One.
Happy Anniversary to the man who I will remind that he can forget anything but my name…and I will every few days ask him and sometimes I get back some creative responses…because you still have to laugh along the way.