Two Becomes One, A Twenty Year Journey

two becomes one

It’s a special week at my house, my husband and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary on the 20th of May.

I have never written about marriage because frankly the “D word” has popped up a few times over the years in my marriage.

My struggles have me feeling so inadequate about sharing any great advice on marriage.

But I have one thought about being married for 20 years…there is an amazing journey in “two becomes one.”

I remember in our first year of marriage we were so focused on the physical aspect of two becomes one…ah young love.

But all that “oneness” brought along children and soon “two becomes one” was a necessity for survival. We quickly became outnumbered! We had to be a united front in parenting.

Now there is an almost 20 year age difference in our relationship which has brought about a new aspect in “two becomes one.”

A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with COPD. I almost think a chronic diagnosis should trigger marriage counseling because there is a mourning when losing your health.

Now we have two people affected by one diagnosis. Two people facing different struggles from one disease. Two people scared about becoming just one.

Recently mild dementia has sprung up in our marriage. The brain likes a steady level of oxygen and does not work well on a reduced amount.

It reminds me of a funny skit I saw about two becomes one is for growing old: when one of you will remember where the car keys are…one of you will be able to open the pickle jar…and one of you will be able to hear the phone ring.

Over the past year I have had to turn to another page and focus on the cord of three strands.  My husband struggles with feeling he is not worthy of love if he can not contribute to the family. I struggle with thinking I am alone and overwhelmed with taking care of everything.

Honestly these thoughts sneak in when we take our eyes off the one who created us…our identity in Christ…so important.

It has been good to look back…looking forward scares me…most days I do not have the strength…I only have the strength for today…for that I am thankful.

Twenty years ago on the Twenty of May with a Twenty year age difference…Two became One.

Happy Anniversary to the man who I will remind that he can forget anything but my name…and I will every few days ask him and sometimes I get back some creative responses…because you still have to laugh along the way.

 

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day!

Last week I met with a friend and while I was sharing some deep struggles in the middle of my thought she said, “you are making the best choices you can with this situation. You are doing a good job.”

I just wanted to burst into tears…it had been months since anyone had told me I was handling anything well. Can I just say it was such sweet balm to my soul.

Most days I deal with thoughts of falling short, thoughts of inadequacy, and thoughts of being overwhelmed. How many times had I been approached with your son did this, or your daughter needs this, or could not fall asleep at night knowing I had missed opportunities or lost my temper.

I am a mother, a mother of teenagers, a mother of special needs, a working mother, and a homeschool mother. Whatever adjective you place in front of mother…we could all use some words of encouragement in this role of motherhood.

So how about this week before Mother’s Day we could take a moment and express an encouraging thought to another mother. If you want to get fancy and send a card or meet for coffee, great…but the simple sentence of “you are doing a great job of being a mom” might be the best thing a mother has heard all day, week or month.

While I am not a deep emotional writer on the subject of motherhood, I am still shocked with how moved I was when my friend told me I was doing a good job. It’s been two weeks and I am still clinging to those words.

Of course a face to face exchange would be the best choice but I know that time with other moms can be limited, sometimes sending that text or email might be the best dose of encouragement!

Join me in telling another mom this week they are doing a great job being a mom.

Homeschool Sabbatical

Homeschool Sabbatical 2

Homeschool Sabbatical…Have you ever taken one?

I think my brain is need of a leave of absence from the homeschooling life. Not that I am looking to walk away completely from homeschooling…but 15 years of lesson planning, training children and serving my family can leave a mom looking for some renewal.

Mainly I want to recharge so I can finish this race with my youngest kids as strong as I started it with my older kids. I have 7 more years of homeschooling to go!

But what would a homeschool sabbatical look like?
I sat down with paper and pencil and brainstormed some general ideas.

Homeschool Sabbatical

Homeschool Sabbatical: Brainstorming Ideas

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Mission Field and Medical Field

Mission Field and Medical Field

I used to dream of heading to the mission field, but instead I have landed in the medical field. While I was not asked by the pilot if I was at the correct destination; I have since come to appreciate the similarities needed to serve in both areas.

Similarities to the Mission Field and Medical Field

Why we may never lose our clothing while flying to a far away place, we will find ourselves down to the last pair of clean underwear on an extended hospital stay.

We might never experience a tribal dance but we know the joys of the 94 dance. The magic blood oxygen number that gets us closer to being off oxygen and released from the hospital.

We might not have the joy of reading road signs in a different language but we can read the the numbers on a monitor with one eye closed.

We might not have the knack for learning to say “Hello” in a different language but we can rattle off the acronyms of 20 different medical conditions while discussing a course of action and it can sound like a foreign language. [Read more…]

Adjusting the Homeschool Plan

Adjusting the Homeschool Plan

I am joining the iHomeschool Network this week to discuss “Growing a Success”, whether it be a scientist, writer, doctor, missionary or …

Really, it gives me an opportunity to discuss the tagline of my blog…I Teach the Way They Learn. In other words adjusting the homeschool plan to accommodate gifts and learning delays.

Right now you are probably in one of two places in your home school…Your student knows exactly what they want to be when they grow up OR your student does not have any idea on what they want to study or do after high school.

Adjusting the Homeschool Plan for Knowing What You Want to Be:

My first two children from a young age both knew what area of study they wanted to major in at college. Once they became confident in that decision we began altering their school lessons to reflect those desires.

My oldest son, for example, has always wanted to be a meteorologist. When he was in highschool we made the choice for him to learn Latin. Since science terms comprise a large part of his studies; Latin would serve him best.

Since he was taking AP/Honors science classes we focused on history programs that only provided the basics. Now my son does like history but there is only so many hours in a school day and we focused on his science classes.

I found a Meteorology video series, bought a textbook and outlined a selective course his last year of high school. [Read more…]

9 Things That Summarize My 30 Something Years

30 Something

9 Things That Summarize My 30 Something Years

1. I do not know what biological mishap occurs but one day I realized my upper lip looks like a adolescent young man’s lip. Now a monthly waxing must be added to my calendar.

2. Clearly the cerebrum begins shrinking because Amazon tells me that I have already purchased that ebook and Pinterest reminds me that I have already pinned that page and I honestly have no recollection until they kindly mention it.

3. I reach up to grab a dish on the top shelf and notice a small jiggle under my arm or what is also known as an arm flap. My mind immediately flashes to the photo of the granny with a flag tattooed on her bottom arm. Then I realize that maybe I should be completing my bathroom exercise routine more often.

4. I have begun paying attention to those in their 40s and 50s because the light bulb has gone off and I know bigger changes are going to happen in the next decade of my life. Some how I think it will start with reading glasses

5. I realize that a mid life crisis is like explaining to a first time pregnant women what it is like to give birth. Every mother has a unique birth story but no one can predict how your story will develop. I think every person who struggles with a mid-life crisis does so in their own unique way. I am working on planning my mid life crisis.

6. The biggest lesson I learned in this decade…be a Willow Tree..otherwise if you stay an Oak Tree…you will break. I have learned to pick my battles, cover it with grace and let go of the small things. Maybe it has something to do with being to tired to fight every battle, but I found the value of grace intensifies with age.

7. When you suggest to your soon to be 16 year old daughter, “We could have a birthday party together.” She looks horrified and states very clearly she does not want a party with a bunch of old ladies. In an instant I became the mature, older woman who quickly googled at what age does someone become old. Then you find yourself chasing a squirrel, cause that is what happens when you google things.

8. Enter the trails of chasing squirrels; the internet is loaded with quotes and jokes about turning 40. There are pages of posts with bloggers talking about turning 40. There are gift ideas like a Turning 40 Birthday Candle Hat and party ideas on turning 40. Now I am not sure if I should dread, celebrate or ignore my 40th birthday.

9. I will get no respect from those in their 40s, 50s or 60s reading this post. They will laugh, roll their eyes and mumble that I have no idea what it means to grow old. No one in their 20s will read this, they are still excited about being an adult. That leaves my peer group…other 30 year olds…what do you think? Oh wait it is my birthday technically I just entered a new decade. Hello 40!

Just Remember

Choosing a Word for 2015

Choosing a Word for 2015

Last year my word was squirrel…and boy did I spend my year chasing them.

I am choosing a word for 2015 …STONES!

No, not kidney stones and I am way too old for sticks and stones.

In the Bible, Jesus taught about building on a firm foundation. Honestly, my foundation feels like a broken down wall about to fall over.

If you have been on Facebook or any other social media platform everyone is talking about writing goals for 2015.

Well I would like to confess…I have never written a goal.

I think I have spent the last 20 years with the mind set of I am going to survive. There is my #1 derailment…I just tell myself you can survive this…and there is where I stay…just surviving.

Choosing a Word for 2015: Why Stones?

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Inspired Thanksgiving Giveaway

It’s that time of year where we take a moment to pause and count our blessings.

I have been so blessed by the blogging community that I jumped at the opportunity to bless you the readers of Layered Soul.

Of course your chances to win would be greater if this was just for the readers of Layered Soul, Sorry!

Please follow the directions at the bottom of the post for a chance to win, and maybe the winner will be a reader of Layered Soul.

thanksgiving

During this season of Thanksgiving, the Inspired Bloggers Network is full of gratitude for our readers. Without the faithful support of those who follow us on our blogs and social media, we would be unable to do what we love. So, thank you!

red pot

 Le Creuset Signature Enameled Cast-Iron 5-1/2-Quart Round French (Dutch) Oven, Cherry

 

Inspired Thanksgiving Giveaway Bundle #1

1 – Le Creuset Signature Enameled Cast-Iron 5-1/2-Quart Round French (Dutch) Oven, Cherry

1 – $100 Walmart Gift Card

To enter both giveaways, please complete the Rafflecopter information below and then click on over to enter for a chance to win Bundle #2: KitchenAid Stand Mixer and $100 Walmart Gift Card. [Read more…]

Showing Kindness to Others, Sandpaper People

Randoms Act of Kindness can sometimes include being kind to sandpaper people.

I am joining a group of bloggers who are focusing on Being Kind Counts. What a great chance to focus on showing kindness to others!

I decided it would be fun to brain storm creative ideas on showing kindness to our local community. I know in my area the local christian radio station encourages kindness with their Drive Thru Connection on the first Friday of every month. I knew the kids and I would have great fun with random acts of kindness but then I was hit hard with a different thought.

It would be more of a challenge to show kindness to others by showing kindness to the sandpaper people in my life. Are you familiar with sandpaper people? I remember years ago my friend, Kathy, discussing sandpaper people as those who just rub you the wrong way. Maybe it is a person who complains all the time, or a person who always one ups your activities, or a person who is always right. Maybe it is a person in your family.  I am sure someone just popped into your mind. Tell me I am not alone in having sandpaper people in my life.  [Read more…]

How a Septic Tank Works, for Kids

How a Septic Tank Works, for kids

Why am I writing about how a septic tank works? Well we found out this week that we need to replace ours. If I am going to eat beans and rice for the next 7 months and tear up my back yard...by golly we are going to learn how a septic tank works.

When you flush the toilet where does the waste go? This is a great lead into our unit study on septic tanks. I did toy with the idea of starting this unit with the book Where’s the Poop?

How a Septic Tank Works:

  1. How big is the average tank?
  2. How often do you get the tank pumped?
  3. Why do they agitate the tank?
  4. What do they do after the tank is pumped?

[Read more…]