Are you struggling with the joy of the season and the grief in your life? Blue Christmas?
The one thing I don’t like about social media…it only shows one moment of a person’s life.
For example…if I share a moment of homeschooling frustration will people judge homeschooling as a horrible choice?
Or…If I show this Pinterest perfect activity will people fear they can never be a success at homeschooling?
The past few months of I have struggled with being able to express that certain life events suck…yet still acknowledge that God is good.
I have sensed an underlying current that…if I vocalized that these events were horrible…then my faith was weak…I wasn’t doing a good job of praising through the storms.
The reality of my situation… COPD slowly steals quality of life… you never know when it will be a good day with breathing or a bad one. And don’t ask me to be thankful about COPD…but I will find the moments where God shows his love and care for us.
Every Wednesday I meet with my dear friend, who became a widow 6 months ago… we share moments of joy in between moments of grief. She lost her husband all of a sudden…I am losing mine moment by moment…and we think both situations stink.
This past Sunday our church held a Blue Christmas service; both of us were unsure about going. Yet after a hard weekend taking care of Ron I texted her that I thought we should go…so we sat in the back row…ready to leave if it became to emotional.
In that sermon Pastor Kenny introduced to me the Korean concept of Han. It seems this concept doesn’t translate well…but it is the combination of sadness and hope. At that moment…he had given me a word to describe my feelings.
When we entered the service everyone was given a stone and a marker. Everyone was asked to write their grief on the rock and bring the rocks up to the altar during the service.
If I could have…I would have photographed the pile of rocks left at the foot of the cross…because it can be a comfort knowing you are not alone.
Instead of following directions…my rock came home with me.
I felt during this series of life events…I need that rock to remind me each day…I didn’t choose these events…but I can choose how to remember them.
My friend…my heart does ache for the broken hearted at Christmas time…I pray that you can find a moment of joy in between the moments of grief.
Merry Christmas…I hope 2017 allows me to return to blogging on a more regular basis.